


How Could I?

by soapficgal



Category: Port Charles
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 05:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5731810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soapficgal/pseuds/soapficgal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short Jamal/Alison reunion fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Could I?

**How Could I?**  
  
Jamal walked down the street thinking about the current situation. While he’d promised Alison he would walk her down the isle in her wedding to Rafe and support her, but now as the wedding had ended before it began something about this night about the moment took him back to another time, to a better time when things between them were so much brighter, so much happier. If only he’d have done what he’d wanted to, told her how much she’d meant to him, but now he was lost without her. Sure, he’d moved on with Marissa, but it wasn’t the same. No other woman could take the place of his Spunky and he knew that in his heart that perhaps destiny was trying to tell him something. Making his way down to the docks, he took in a breath closing his eyes as the night air swept over him.  
  
 _It was a coldest day in December  
A day I will always remember  
I looked into your eyes  
And faced my deepest fear  
I had drifted too far  
Far from you my dear_  
  
A pain rushed over Jamal as he thought of how he’d hurt her. The pain in her eyes the day he pushed her away was something that would never leave him as it was the moment in time when a very big part of him had stopped living, stopped moving on. Even now long after they’d moved over that horrible period in time back to their friendship again, Jamal couldn’t help but feel that something was still missing for him. She was so very beautiful, so stunning in her white gown just like he’d imagined she would be, except the roles had changed and he was the man on the sidelines--not the one who’d swept her off her feet and held her tight for happily ever after. How he’d wanted to be the man to have her as his wife, but alas things hadn’t worked out for them that way…or had they?  
  
Thinking back to the way Alison had run out of the chapel, Jamal had wondered about everything, about his life, about where she’d gone with hers, about the Angel boy and what he’d done to steal her heart away from Jamal so long ago. Alison was so convinced that Rafe was the one, that he was the only man for her, but Jamal had tried time and time again to show her that true love, real love was the love he harbored for her, only he’d made the mistake of pushing her away when she needed that love the most. Perhaps in losing that love she’d given him, he’d proved that Rafe was the better man. Still, if Alison believed that, then why had she called off the wedding? Could it have been that she too had her doubts about things? Could she have realized that perhaps Rafe wasn’t the man she’d needed in her life? Was this the opening he’d been waiting for or was he a fool to believe? He’d let her down and for that perhaps there would never be a second chance.  
  
 _So how could I  
Turn away from the one i love  
How could i  
When i know what my heart's made of  
Could it be  
That your soul lives inside of me  
How could i ever say good-bye_  
  
  
The chill in the air was nothing compared to the ache in Alison’s heart as she walked down the docks trying to clear her head. Even now she wondered where she was going as she thought of how it had felt to walk away from Rafe. The wedding had seemed so wonderful until that moment in time when she’d seen the photograph of his mother, but then again maybe that’s where the lie had expanded. As happy as she’d been about the day, about the prospect about marrying Rafe, there was something gnawing inside of her, something that she couldn’t quite place as she thought about what the future held in store for her. Even now after she’d uncovered that Caleb was the mastermind behind the deception, that he was the evil making her believe Rafe was her brother, something inside of her urged her not to look back. Loving Rafe had been wonderful and losing him had been hard. Even now a part of her anticipated what it would be like to have him again, to share that forever with him that she’d promised him time and time again, but still, something was missing--something she couldn’t quite place a name on.  
  
Alison sighed as she continued down the dark and lonely path. If only life was simpler. If only life had been like it was before all of the craziness in Port Charles. How she’d wanted to be wild and carefree enjoying the simple things in life. Forget vampires and angels. All Alison wanted was to find a place where dreams could come true again and a place where true love could find a way. Somehow true love and happily ever after seemed to run short in this town. No one found happiness it seemed and just when their forever began, it was ripped away from them. Eve’s funeral was just a painful reminder of that loss that could come once happiness started to linger.  
  
Thinking about that Alison vowed to herself that she wouldn’t become a casualty to love. She’d find a way to hold onto her happiness, to her sanity and push out the rest of the world. The only problem was it felt like all that she’d loved had been pushed away at a time so long ago when she’d said goodbye to her first love. That time when she’d lost Jamal had been a slippery slope downhill and nothing seemed to bring her out of it. If only she could turn back the hands of time and make things right, but then again it was too late. There were no more chances to start again.  
  
 _Why was I so afraid to tell her  
That for her i would fight a thousand soldiers  
But just like an angry child  
I kept my feelings locked inside  
There were rivers of tears  
Flowing from her eyes  
_  
  
“Oh Alison,” Jamal blinked back the tears as he found himself struggling with his conscience. Right now all he wanted to do was to run to her, to wrap her up in his arms and take the pain away that he’d ignored the first time around. He wanted to love her, to show her that he needed her and would always need her as time went on. Alison was his heart and he was lost without her. Even now knowing that she’d backed out of a marriage with Rafe, he wondered if he could pull together the strength to show her how much she meant to him.  
  
“I would risk it all for just one more chance to love you, Spunky,” he spoke out into the darkness as the words that he hadn’t been brave enough to say for so very long finally came out, “I’ll always love you Alison Barrington and nothing will ever change that. There will never be anyone else like you in my life,” he confessed with a sigh knowing in his heart that he’d carelessly let forever walk out of his life in a moment of weakness.  
  
 _So how could I  
Turn away from the one i love  
How could I  
When i know what my heart's made of  
Could it be  
That your soul lives inside of me  
How could I ever say good-bye_  
  
Alison heard the words coming from the distance and she stopped dead in her tracks wondering if her mind had been playing tricks on her. Could it have been true? Was she hearing correctly as her eyes searched the darkness? Was someone out there waiting for her like she was waiting for him? Stepping forward she looked out towards the water seeing Jamal standing there tossing a coin out onto the water.  
  
“If only I had a second chance to make things right,” Jamal sighed closing his eyes.  
  
“It’s never too late,” Alison blurted out making her presence known as she walked out of the shadows, “if there’s something on your mind, you can talk to me about it if you’d like.”  
  
“Spunky,” Jamal nearly leapt out of his skin as he spun around to face her, “what are you doing here?”  
  
“I needed some time to think,” she confessed, “you?”  
  
“Something along those lines,” he admitted making his way towards her, “h-how are you?”  
  
“I’ve seen better days,” she confessed with a poignant smile, “You?”  
  
“I can’t even begin to remember what better days are,” he half teased, “though I must admit I’m surprised to see you here.”  
  
“I needed some time to be alone to think,” she admitted with a shrug.  
  
“Oh well, if you want me to leave…” he started nervously.  
  
“No, please,” she reached out towards him touching his arm, “stay. I don’t think I want you to go just yet.”  
  
“Alright,” he nodded watching her closely.  
  
“Jamal, tell me something,” she started after a long moment, “how is it we’ve gotten to this point?”  
  
“Honestly,” Jamal half shrugged, “I don’t know. It seems destiny did a lot for us over this past year.”  
  
“Is that really what this is? Destiny?”  
  
“What else would you call it,” Jamal questioned searching her eyes.  
  
“A nightmare,” she offered up with an ironic laugh, “I mean how can two people go from having it all to losing it in a blink of an eye?”  
  
“Thinking about Rafe,” he questioned gently as he reached for her hand wrapping his fingers around hers.  
  
“No,” she shook her head, “it’s not Rafe that’s been on my mind. I was thinking more along the lines of us,” she blurted out tears misting over her eyes.  
  
 _When you fall in love  
You never know how long it lasts  
But the one thing I knew in my heart  
Is that i was fading much too fast  
_  
  
“Spunky don’t cry,” Jamal reached out to her touching her cheek as a tear traveled over her soft skin, “please don’t cry.”  
  
“My life is a mess, Jamal. First I lost you and now this thing with Rafe,” she started sobbing as he wrapped his arms around her holding her closer still.  
  
“I’m sure the two of you can work it out. When you love someone like you love Rafe…”  
  
“Damn it Jamal,” Alison snapped back at him, “this isn’t about Rafe. It’s about you and me--about how we had it all, but we blew it. You pushed me away when Valerie died and I ran to Rafe. Granted I was attracted to him and I started to believe I was in love with him, but the truth was that I went to him because he was there for me. You weren’t with me when I needed you and Rafe filled that void in my life…at least I thought he did.”  
  
“Spunky, what are you saying,” he questioned pressing the pad of his thumb over her cheekbone tracing it gently as her lower lip trembled with emotion.  
  
“I’m saying that losing you was when my life fell apart and I’ve been fooling myself in believing that everything is alright now. I’ve been trying to live in this dream world where there is magic and fairy tales and happily ever after, but the truth is I’d trade it all for just one moment with you sharing what we had. Jamal, I’d give it all up to be with you.”  
  
“Alison, you’re just saying that because you were hurt at the wedding, because of Caleb’s lies…” Jamal started.  
  
“No,” she shook her head, “I’m saying that because it’s true. If it wasn’t for Caleb and all he’d done, you and I would still be together loving one another like we’d talked about. We’d be the ones who’d have been getting married and by now we’d be on our honeymoon enjoying the little things that life had to offer us. We’d be running the bike shop and working on a family.”  
  
“Alison,” Jamal started sadly, “You can’t look back like that not when you’ve come so far.”  
  
“Tell me it isn’t what you want. Tell me that you don’t still love me, Jamal,” she pleaded with him, “tell me that this bond between us is over.”  
  
“I can’t do that,” Jamal sighed, “you know that Spunky. I can’t lie to you especially not about something like that.”  
  
“Then what’s stopping us,” she questioned with a sigh, “what’s stopping us from turning back the hands of time and making that promise we made to one another a reality? Why can’t we do it?”  
  
“Spunky, I wish more than anything we could,” Jamal cupped her face in his hands, “I wish more than anything that you could close your eyes, that I could give you a kiss and when you opened your eyes again we could be back where we left off. We could be together again and everything in Port Charles could be right again. There would be no vampires, no craziness and just us as it should be.”  
  
“I wish that could happen too,” Alison cried harder, “how I wish that could be for us.”  
  
“So do I,” Jamal confessed poignantly, “and while we can’t go back, there is something I can offer you…something I think that we’ve both waiting a long time for,” he leaned in towards her watching as her damp lashes fluttered and she closed her eyes anticipating his touch.  
  
“Jamal,” she whispered feeling his breath over hers as their lips met in a soft, tender kiss. Her sobs deepened as she wrapped her arms around him holding him closer as the world seemed to disappear and she was lost in the moment with Jamal keeping her close to him as it always should’ve been.  
  
 _So how could I_  
Turn away from the one I love  
How could I  
When I know what my heart's made of  
Could it be  
That your soul lives inside of me  
How could I ever say good-bye  
  
Alison opened her eyes hearing the soft sounds of beeping surrounding her as she looked up to see Eve Lambert hovering over her. A gasp fell from her lips as she recognized Eve’s concerned face, “Eve…wh-what are you doing here?” she questioned in a panic thinking back to her kiss with Jamal, “How are you here? Am I…am I dead,” she asked shakily as Eve gave her a puzzled expression.  
  
“Of course you aren’t dead, but you gave us quiet a scare Alison,” Eve shook her head, “there’s someone where who’s been very worried about you.”  
  
“What?” Alison blinked back at her as Eve stepped aside and Jamal revealed himself to her.  
  
“Hey Spunky,” Jamal sat beside her reaching for her hand, “You had me very worried about you.”  
  
“Jamal, how did I…” Alison looked around, “How am I in a hospital? What am I doing here? We were just at the docks. I was kissing you and….”  
  
“Spunky, try to relax,” he urged reaching out to touch her forehead softly, “you have a long few months here.”  
  
“Jamal, what do you mean a few months? We were on the docks after I broke off my wedding to Rafe…” she started to explain.  
  
“Who’s Rafe?” a frown touched over his features, “and what is this talk about a wedding?”  
  
“Jamal, I was about to marry Rafe, but I saw it was a mistake. I had just told you that we belonged together and we were kissing on the docks when…” She trailed off seeing the confusion on his features.  
  
“Spunky, you’ve been in a coma for over a year now. You and I were going for a ride on the cycle when you’d talked me out of going to that race. Jack and Livvie explained that you were trying to keep me safe and when we were returning to the bike shop, there was a car that came at us….a drunk driver…” Jamal’s eyes misted over as she squeezed her hand, “I was so afraid I’d never see your beautiful eyes open again or that I’d be able to tell you how much I loved you. When I thought I’d lost you…”  
  
“You mean we were in an accident and Jack’s alive?” she questioned with wide eyes, “he didn’t die and become a vampire?”  
  
“Vampire,” Jamal repeated in confusion, “what kind of dreams were you having?”  
  
“Horrible, horrible dreams,” Alison confessed behind sobs, “I dreamt that vampires came and tried to destroy us, that Valerie returned and she had your daughter and then she died and we were torn apart and I was going to marry someone else…”  
  
“Hey,” Jamal reached out to her, “hold on a second. Spunky, it sounds like you were having nightmares. None of that happened and as for Valerie, last I heard she and Hope were doing just fine. She came by to check on you while you were in your coma. She was worried about you considering that you helped to save her life by keeping her and Hope from Cedric.”  
  
“But Hope is your baby,” Alison blurted out.  
  
“No, no she’s not,” Jamal shook his head, “I swear to you on that. Val and I were just friends--nothing more. She went through some hard times and I helped her and if it wasn’t for you, she might’ve been in some bad shape, but Spunky, you saved her life and Hope’s. They were both so worried about you when you were in your coma.”  
  
“A coma,” Alison repeated thinking it over, “I just can’t believe that…I mean it all seemed so real…”  
  
“The only thing that’s real is that you’re here with me now and you’re safe again,” Jamal leaned down to kiss her, “Even when things were at their worst I never gave up on you. Heck, even your grandma and I took turns being with you. She and I have developed an understanding and she knows how much I love you, how much I need you in my life, Spunky.”  
  
“She does?” Alison blinked back at him.  
  
He nodded, “She does and she wants nothing more than to see you well again. Now that you’re awake you have so many people happy that you’re back, so many people who have so much to say to you, but right now,” he kissed her forehead, “I’m just happy to see that you’re alive. I’ve missed you so much.”  
  
“I’ve missed you so much too, Jamal,” she blurted out sitting up and wrapping her arms around him holding him close to her, “I’ve missed you more than you can imagine and in this time I was away from you so many horrible things happened. In my dreams I was ready to spent my life with this other man and while he was a wonderful guy, he never even came close to being you. After everything was said and done, when it came down to it, you were the only one for me.”  
  
“You’re the only one for me as well,” Jamal tried to soothe her as he held her in his arms, “you’ll always be the only one in my heart.”  
  
“I love you, Jamal,” Alison held him tighter realizing that the nightmare was finally over.  
  
“I love you too and I’ll never stop loving you,” he promised as they both finally had their chance to find happily ever after.  
  
The End  
  
 **Song used: How Could I? By Marc Anthony**


End file.
